Time's Up: The new dawn on South Africa's horizon

The sun has finally set on the time where we quietly sweep things under the rug. It has set on the time where we look away in the name of “minding our own business”. A new dawn is on the horizon, and it’s demanding change.

For far too long we’ve allowed history to continually repeat itself. Men, with power, influence and money getting away with abuse and violence. For too long we’ve lived in a world broken by brutally powerful men. Times up.

This past week recordings of Mohale Motaung have been circulating the internet. The tapes are brutally honest and difficult to hear. In the recordings, we hear Mohale detail his experience of 3+ years of abuse, suffered at the hands of his now estranged husband, Somizi Mhlongo.

The abuse he describes is violent, calculated and very consistent. He shares painful memories of being bruised and battered, namely having his ribs broken. Mohale paints the picture of a wildly jealous and insecure man who on one occasion ran him off the road.

When a victim of abuse comes forward about the years of violence they have faced, one of the first questions people ask is “why didn’t you leave sooner” or the favorite “why are you choosing to speak now?”. These questions are asked carelessly without taking into account how difficult it actually is to leave.

You see, in the arsenal of every violent man, there is always the intense emotional abuse. It is how these men control, manipulate and belittle the people that claim to love. Over time, they use their words to whittle away at yourself esteem, they make you doubt that you deserve love, respect and safety. It becomes even worse when you are dealing with a man who has considerably more money, influence and power than you.

Mohale’s story is not new, it’s one we’ve seen too many times before. This is the same tale of Cosby, Weinstein, Kelly, Fresh, Mampintsha - the list goes on and on.

And it might be difficult, but we have to see these men for who they are. It’s difficult because we’ve grown up watching them, welcoming them into our homes and our hearts. These men aren’t strangers to us, they have provided the soundtracks to our lives, given hope and inspiration to millions. But, they are abusers, and there is no place for them in this new dawn.

In past these men have not only gotten away with commuting these truly heinous crimes, they have been rewarded past them. Somizi was found guilty of indecent assault in 2008, an incident he has written of in his best selling memoir. After paying a fine of just R6000, his life not only continued, it got better. Since then his career has gone to new heights, he’s been a judge on the biggest family show in the country, has a radio show on the most listened to radio station, multiple reality shows, cook books and international endorsement deals. This is a man who sexually assaulted someone, was found guilty by the law and still was still able to live a life of success and glory.

We cannot allow it to happen again. Not only because Mohale deserves justice. But because it needs to be clear, there is absolutely no space for abusers in the world we’re trying to create. We will believe victims, listen to them, support them.

And to the men who have gotten away with too much, hear this, no matter who you are, no matter the power you hold, your time is up.